i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
