And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
