I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
