it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
