At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
