There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
