You can't special order awesome
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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