So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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