I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
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