dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
