hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
where am i from again
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
