So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize