What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
