You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
