it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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