Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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