I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
