I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
