everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
