I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
