You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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