the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
