I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
