Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize