she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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