who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
