Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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