i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
