Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just cut my nipple shaving
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
