I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I'm having to shit out rocks
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
