ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
