We're facebook friends in real life
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
