Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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