drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
