end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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