we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
