So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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