Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
