If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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