dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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