Sponge bath it is.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i will never coherently bang her
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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