Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
