it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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