The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
