By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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