Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
