the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
