I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She bit a glass in half.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize