I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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