I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
