They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
