I can feel you judging me through the phone.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize