Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?

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(916): View more from California

Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms

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(605): View more from South Dakota

you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?

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(913): View more from Kansas

Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.

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(985): View more from Louisiana

I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.

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(520): View more from Arizona

dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.

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