Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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