Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
