Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
