i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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