it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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