does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
