My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
tell your sister to shave her snatch
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize