is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
