mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
