"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
